With a list of villains as long as the bible it is no wonder that a few would end up to be real stinkers. It is easy to forgive characters like Freeze, because lets face it he’s had a good run here and there. In fact The Ventriloquist although being kind of corny, can also be terrifying. But there are also the villains that are kind of stupid,  if not completely moronic. Today lets focus on these incredibly lame villains. You know… for fun.

The Calculator

He has a giant calculator on his chest. If that doesn’t automatically qualify him for this list I don’t know what will.

Powers and Abilities

Calculator has used a battlesuit with a large calculator in the chest area. The computers in the suit can accurately predict the actions of any hero or even the Earth itself. A projector in the helmet is linked to the suit and can create items by solidifying the dust in the air.

Crazy Quilt

Crazy Quilt is an awful name. The creators were really scraping the bottom of the barrel with this guy. I think they got the idea while doing mushrooms at a hippie love fest.

Powers and Abilities

Crazy-Quilt has a helmet that allows him to hypnotize his victims using flashing lights of various colors. It can also project lethal laser beams, blinding lights, and functions as artificial eyes since his own eyes no longer function; the lenses feed their input signal straight into his brain.

Kite Man

Wow! Kite Man is just lame.

Powers and Abilities

Charles “Chuck” Brown is a man who armed himself with kite weapons to be used to commit crimes. He flies with a big kite strapped to him. He also uses a barrage of kites to overwhelm his enemies. I hope you never run into this guy in a dark ally…just kidding.

Magpie

Magpie is a jewel thief who specifically targets jewels named after birds and then replaces them with booby trapped replicas. I had to put her on this list. look at her! I had no choice.

She has no abilities.

She is notable for her outlandish 1980s style including a unique tri-hawk/mullet hairstyle (Although in Man of Steel #3, Superman reveals that her unique hairstyle is a wig, and she was actually a redhead) as well as an exotic, red and silver costume consisting of large sunglasses, earrings, long gloves, and fishnet stockings.

Ten-Eyed Man

He blames Batman for blinding him. Now through some crazy scientific experiment he is able to see with his fingers. That is why he is called the Ten-Eyed Man. He sounds dangerous.

Powers and Abilities

Ten-Eyed Man can see through optic nerves in his fingertips, giving him a complete 360 view. His enhanced vision made him a superb fighter and marksman.

Calendar Man

Calender Man is my favorite. It is not just his stupid costume with the calender numbers on the shoulders. It is not the dumb ass abilities. No… wait… I’m full of it, those are exactly my reasons. How would this guy be a threat to Batman?

Powers and Abilities = none

Calendar Man is fascinated by dates and calendars – even his real name is a pun on the Julian and Gregorian calendars. His crimes always have a relationship to the date that they are committed. The theme may be related to what day of the week it is or to a holiday or to a special anniversary on that date; he will plan his crime around that day

Batman’s Creepiest Villain

I decided to throw this character in as a comparison. He is not part of this list. He is the epitimy of the cool, creepy Batman villain that we have all come to know and love.

Professor Pyg

Pyg has an obsession with making people “perfect”, which he accomplishes by transforming them into Dollotrons, a process that bonds false “doll” faces to their own, presumably permanently. Professor Pyg uses cordless drills, hammers and icepicks along with the “doll” faces in the process of converting his victims into Dollotrons. It appears the operations he performs involve brain surgery or a form of vasectomy and possible gender realignment.

Grant Morrison describes the character as “one of the weirdest, most insane characters that’s ever been in Batman. We hear a lot about Batman facing crazy villains but we tried to make this guy seem genuinely disturbed and disconnected.” The character name is a shortened form of Pygmalion (a Levantine vegetation-god).